Mr. I found my Co-Worker on Bumble

So let me tell you about this hilarious escapade. My two girlfriends and I were sitting at home, and I was lamenting about my honest to God, shitty ass luck when it comes to love life. My love life deserves its own comedic relief at times, because it is both funny and sad. So we did what all girls do on a Saturday night when you finally all get together. We get wine drunk. And then, when that happens? All of the stupid, fabulous ideas come. 

So what do I do? I decided to download Hinge and Bumble. Now mind you, at this point, it is a huge deal for me, because I was the girl who refused to download the dating apps. I had refused to want to meet a guy that way. I was waiting for my “meet cute” moment, the one that you see in those terrible, cheesy chick-flicks, but you honestly learn to love and swoon about, and you cheer on the main characters. I wanted that type of story. And I would like to say, sometimes, I got it. But those relationships did not last. Including the last interaction that I had with a guy. 

Mind you, I was getting over a “situationship” (trust me, this deserves its own separate story and I will talk about it on this blog one day) and I was in the “idgaf mood” of let’s “fuck around and find out” type of vibe. So I downloaded the apps. As I started to set up my profile and started to swipe, somewhere in my drunk stupor, I started to think about, what if I made a blog, (which in fact turned out to be the very blog that you are reading right now), titled, “Sex in the Midwest”. Where I take all of the awful stories, which are not only mine, but also the awful stories that my girlfriends had as well, and share them here. A little humor on your Wednesday night, so that we can all feel less alone. (And maybe a little less sad about the failures). We all had shitty stories of sex and dates, that served as little cringe moments, on the quest to find love. Only, I haven’t found the love of my life yet. So maybe this will be a fun quest for us all. 

When I told my two girlfriends, Samantha (Sam) and Juliana about this, they thought this idea was so brilliant, that they decided to download Bumble as well, just to help me get content for this. If this isn’t true friendship, then honestly, I do not know what is. 

My boldness was so inspiring. We were drunk, and started swiping. Let me tell you, when I joined Bumble, I had no faith whatsoever, in this god forsaken app. I was still reeling from another failed connection, and I still wanted to believe that I would meet Mr. Right in person. But at 26, and honestly with my dating record, the chances of witnessing a happily ever after, was only in a juicy, fictional rom com novel. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I have known two people (two close girlfriends) as well as friends of friends, who have met their “one” on Bumble. If we look at the numbers, that was a pretty good statistic for me. Or honestly, amazing luck. I decided to make my profile as honest as possible, and started to swipe. As we were swiping, we were looking at our options, and at one point, I was sitting next to Sam and as soon as we saw this one guy flash across her screen, we both SCREAMED. Why, you might ask? Because up on her phone screen, was her coworker. You heard that right, her coworker, who she works with. 

Now this may be more of a common occurrence than maybe I am used to, but I will have to say, it had me floored. Funny enough, later Juliana saw Mr. Co-Worker up on her screen as well. The preferences that both Sam and Juliana had was “fun casual dates” and so did Mr. Co-Worker, so maybe that is not much of a surprise, especially since the distance radius is pretty close. They also have similar ranges in age. 

Now maybe, if we weren’t doing this as a social experiment, or, if they didn’t mark “fun casual dates” as the preference, none of us would have saw Mr. Co-Worker flash on the screen. What makes this story even more hilarious and ironic, is we have heard far too many stories of Mr. Co-Worker’s sex life. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not here to judge, because someone’s sex life is none of my business…unless I am intertwined with them, but that is a whole different point whatsoever. But it does make it awkward (more so for Sam’s sake because she works with this dude) to see him, knowing what we have seen and knowing what we know about Mr. Co-Worker. 

I guess in some instances, we can’t judge Mr. Co-Worker, because shit, maybe we all are in search of a good fuck, with no commitments. I mean, based on what I have seen and heard around me, getting a fuck, with no commitments, has become easier than ever. We have become a culture, where technology has created such convenience, in so many aspects of our lives. But where have things become so convenient, that we as humans tend to get lenient? 

We have the power of choice, and I have read many articles that emphasized, when given so many choices, the individual will get stuck in the fallacy of thinking that there will always be “something better” out there. Not fully committing to what is, in hopes of something even better. So that the person is never present. And with this in mind, at what point does this do more harm than good?

While I am not an advocate of settling for something that does not serve you, or isn’t what you want, but at what point did our grandparents get it right? Where they chose someone, at a young age, and stayed committed to them, throughout their lives? Was it because that was the societal norm? Or were they unhappy, behind closed doors? Is it because divorce was not socially acceptable, that they had to bite their tongues and look the other way? I am honestly not sure.

Have we all made the easy swiping, the convenience of non-commitment the ultimate form of convenience? Is sex truly meaningless in today’s day and age? Have we really started to fear vulnerability and depth, so the ultimate way to get rid of it, is to make the thing that held that depth, empty? 

These are all questions that I think about and ponder. But where is the fine line? Where is the balance of not wanting to judge someone for living their life on their means but also not helping but wonder, why as a society we have become so comfortable with shallowness? Why are we afraid of depth, as it will be the very blackhole that sucks us in, and will not get us out?

If you are someone that has more “old-fashioned values” you get put in one box, that may not align with everything that ties into that “so-called” labeled box. But if you do not confine to the societal norms of the present, you are abnormal, a black sheep that is easily seen among the flow of white. 

Needless to say, I think I would have also freaked out to see a co-worker on a dating app. I am not one to condone office or workplace romance, as I found it can get messy. I have seen it work for some. However, those “some” are few and far in-between. But honestly, who am I to judge? If it wasn’t just for an easy fuck for Mr. Co-Worker, shouldn’t everyone get a chance at love? Shit, I have also heard people fucking on the first date and being happily married, still many years later. I guess honestly, I do not know what are considered the “moral principles” that we should follow when it comes to dating. 

What do you think? Has anyone had any insane experiences of seeing coworkers on apps? Or had their own forbidden affairs? Or had sex on the first date and are the happily married couples? I would love to know! Comment below, I would love to hear what it is really like out there, as I think I have been out of the loop for a while. 

~Christina Snitko