The White Lie about the Holidays

At a time when commercialism is at its peak, with the image of perfection being shoved down our throats and the constant ring of “it’s the most wonderful time of year”, what happens, when you just do not agree with the mass population about these mere facts? What happens, when the holidays remind you of the absolute very worst, and you are just clenching your teeth, waiting for all of it to be over?

While I have grown to become quite neutral about the holidays, I do remember some years being so rough, that I would hate that a new season was coming around. Another Christmas, meant another year of false hopes and expectations, with disappointments lurking around every corner.

I have spoken to others, that also do not have warm and fuzzy feelings about the holidays. For them, Christmas is just a bitch slap to the face, of what they do not have, or even worse, what they have lost.

What if Christmas, isn’t a happy time with the family? What if the holidays remind you how toxic your family is, and just spurs up things that you have wanted to forget?

Why have we turned Christmas, into an Olympic Sport of who can out compete one another? Who can throw the best facade to the world, in order to minimize their own adequacies, just for a few days?

While I understand the holidays are meant to be a time where people come together, in order to forget about the problems of the world and reset for a bit, for many, holidays are nothing but a nightmare.

A remembrance of what was, and what can never be. A sucker punch, that a “perfect” Christmas dinner cannot, and will not ever happen. Fights will break out. Grudges will continue to be held. Nothing will change, but the years will go by.

At what point do you accept, that things just cannot happen the way that you envision them to, even if you have the best of intentions? At what point do you grieve that you will not have the “perfectness” that society has shoved down our throats? Can you forgive yourself for wanting that ideal image so much?

Maybe, there is an inner child, that still wants to experience some aspects of the holidays, that aren’t filled with the drama, or just wants to believe once more, or maybe even for the first time, that miracles in fact, do exist.

Can you blame the ones, that feel a deep pang of sadness for the holidays? I surely can’t. And for the ones that cannot relate to what I am writing right now, I hope this encourages you to have the compassion for others, that are struggling with a plethora of emotions during the holidays. Allow them to feel whatever they need to feel, even if you do not understand.

And for the ones that can relate to what I am writing, please know, that you are not alone. It is not flawed or abnormal, to feel this way. I wish you all the best, through all of the challenges that you have faced and the seasons that you survived. I truly hope that one day, you will find your peace.

Bless,

~Christina