The Set-Up to my Saturn Return, the Good Ole Nodal Reversal
In typical fashion that I think every twenty something year old is going through, I can officially say that I too, have joined the club of having an existential crisis. I would like to believe that I have had one every so often, but maybe those periodic existential crises, are just normal stages of adulthood. (Or maybe, a shit load of trauma, who honestly knows?)
I am 27 years old, and about to enter what astrologers coin the “coming of age Saturn Return”. As someone who knows a good amount of astrology myself, I felt that because I knew it was coming, that I would be well prepared for it. That because I had self-awareness of this massive change that is about to change life for me, I will be okay, simply, because I have read about it from many different astrologers…
Ha. That was cute of me to think that. The reality, is that something life altering does in fact happen, from this marvelous age of 27, that continues for about 2 and a half years (depending on where Saturn is in your chart). Sometimes your Saturn return starts at 29 and continues until you are about 31. This is why astrology is SO cool and fabulous. Everything, is truly dependent on your specific astrological birth chart. I like to call it, your “Blueprint” for life. Now, astrology is not the end all, be all, but it can give us some amazing contextual clues, to learn how to handle these crises, when they arise.
Going back to my own existential crisis, I thought, I was going to be fine”. I thought, “Yeah, I am know the themes that will arise in my chart and I think I know what they will be, and I will figure out how to handle them”. The cosmic joke of the Universe, is that it will definitely throw you curve balls, that you would never even dare to expect. But when you start to reflect and think about it, these curveballs, are always on par, and theme, for the transits that are happening in your astrological birth chart.
Now before you enter your Saturn Return, you get set up for a little “practice run” called your “Nodal Reversal”. Since I have not really done too much of an astrological deep dive on this blog page (but trust me, I definitely plan to do more of that in the future), let me first explain what the nodes are, and more specifically, what even is a nodal reversal.
We have these points in our chart, called the North and South Node. They are not planets, and they are not asteroids. They are what many astrologers call “Karmic Points” or the “Nodes of Destiny”. They are depicted as the head and the tail of the dragon, (the Head being the North Node and the Tail being the South Node). The Head, is where our soul in this incarnation, is needing/aspiring to head towards. It is uncomfortable, because this isn’t an energy or theme that our soul has mastered yet, but it is something we are needing to lean into and learn in this lifetime. Which then brings us to the South Node, which is the “Tail” of the dragon. The South Node, represents the energy that we have “Mastered” in the previous lifetime (or multiple lifetimes). It is energy that we tend to “fall back to” when we are scared, or tend to even subconsciously come back to and not be aware of it. But the South Node energy, is energy that we have outgrown. The South Node energy is like old clothes that you used to love and wear all the time, but they either no longer fit, or are no longer a true representation of you. You want to go back to that color or style, but it just isn’t right. You need to venture out to something new. And that newness, is that North Node.
The North Node, is scary for many people, because we are all creatures of habit at the end of the day that crave security and belonging. (Even if we would rather die than admit that). We tend to cling to what is familiar to us, even, if are meant to expand and try something new. But going back to the Nodal Reversal, it is quite the mind fuck.
What happens in a Nodal reversal, is the way that the nodes in the sky move, move right upon the nodal axis, but in opposing signs. So what does that mean? It means, that before your Nodal Return at 37, (when the nodal points move back to the same signs/position as your natal chart) you will go through this nodal reversal. The point of the nodal reversal, is to “clear out” and reassess any habits, any themes between these two houses, so that you can keep moving forward towards your highest self. I’d like to think of it, as the “mid-way check point” before your nodal return.
But let me tell you, as someone who is currently going through their nodal reversal, it is pretty rough. For me personally, my South Node is in the Second House, and my North Node is in the Eighth. With my nodal reversal, themes around self-worth, money (second house) and the unknown, astrology, shared resources, the occult, death and rebirth (eighth house) has been kicking my butt. But no matter how difficult it has been for me, I have been learning a ton about what is truly important to me. What is no longer important to me. And where I have changed. See, no one talks about how hard it is, when you feel like you are outgrowing the things that you once felt so much comfort in. That has been hard. And once you understand and can release the things that are no longer serving you, it is a whole different mind fuck, accepting where you are going.
I feel like ever since I have gotten a little “taste” of Saturn in Aries this past summer, life has felt hard. I have been working really hard. I have had some shifts that were involuntary, which I needed to adjust to. I feel like I am finally coming out of it. But now dealing with the aftermath of those shifts. When you have moments in your life, which force you to shift and change, you naturally are in survival mode for a bit. But when you make it out and see that the “scary saber tooth tiger” isn’t chasing you anymore, you stop for a minute. Pause. And see where you are at.
I think that is where I am at. Reassessing. Thinking. Allowing myself to be in an unfamiliar place. Deciding, what is next..
What am I doing?
Where am I going?
And most importantly,
Who am I becoming?
~Christina Snitko
